First Love - part I

Recent discussions on Revelation 2:4 at our ladies bible study have caused me to think. As we went around the room sharing what it is that we feel personally keeps up from loving God as we did "at first" it occurred to me that most of us were associating quiet time with love. And while the merits of quiet time need no defending, I was, and am, slightly troubled by our view of how we relate to God, how we love him. Apparently by the comments around the room that night, I'm not the only one who struggles to maintain that quiet undistracted time alone with God. But what I (we?) also struggle with is the whole concept of having a real relationship with God. What does it mean to love God? What does it mean to love him as we did at first? How can I have a relationship with him that is meaningful, rich, full and genuine? When am I being a hypocrite? And so I've titled this post part I b/c this is a big issue that will take some time to look at.
I think what bothers me about thinking of quiet time as love and devotion to God is that we therefore of necessity have to look at our jobs our husbands our children our hobbies our time spent with friends, etc as distractions. Eventually with this line of thinking they would actually become evil things that separate us from God. I know that sounds extreme, an exaggeration, but in reality this type of thinking has to produce that. I know it to be true in my own life. I've heard it joked about among women with small children. If quiet time alone is our gage for love and devotion to God then we are all woefully in love with other things. We won't admit that we so closely correlate quiet time with first love to God but when asked what hinders us from loving him as first love we turn to the things of life that "distract" us from that "quiet time". Again, I'm not discounting a set aside time to be with God undistracted, I have a room devoted to that very purpose in my home, but I am troubled that we can't seem to integrate all of life into this thing called a relationship with God. Look at it this way; lets say that I am "distracted" preparing an elaborate meal (I'll talk about Martha and Mary in Part II !), or that I am playing a game with my child or I am digging in my garden or any number of other activities, and I think "Gee, I really wish I could just go have time alone with God" does that make it a sin that I continue to do what I am doing? Doesn't the mere fact that I long for more of God mean that I am in fact loving him more than anything else? Often if the activity is "essential" we feel less guilty because of course we have to change the babies diaper or do laundry. We have the hardest time "justifying" more recreational things. Is God disappointed with me, even angry that I am laughing over a You Tube video instead of weeping over my bible? Do I feel that twinge of conviction on the less essential activities? Then surely my heart is devoted and His Holy Spirit is reminding me! My burden of concern is for the newer believer, the young mom, the working woman (I know we all work) anyone, myself(!), that we would learn that devotion and first love are not just set aside times, boxed into a routine or formula but that it is a state of the heart. When I am vacuuming my rug I am loving God, when I am shopping I am loving God, when I am reading a book I am loving God. Has he not made the vast world we live in? Did he not give Adam a job (ugh such a distraction!) in the Garden?
Keith and Melody Green edited and paraphrased (because modern man is so ignorant?) an article Charles Finney wrote in 1839 entitled "Devotion". I think Finney stated it best, " ...to attempt to please Him by isolated acts of devotion (when it is not the habit and state of our minds) is far more abominable that for a wife to attempt to please her husband with an occasional smile, while she lives only to please and gain the affections of another man."
Oh that we would learn what first love is - God of love do teach.