Pitifulcoma

I love the meaning behind this title, Pitifulcoma, so I want to explain. Pitifulcoma, is a modified combination of two songs titles: Pitiful (by Blindside) and Comatose (by Skillet). Pitiful is a song about who we really are before God no matter what we "try"to be. Yet we are no less in his eyes for our true condition! What amazing love!

"as I recall when my stomach turned
and I was hiding away from myself
away from you
like nothing (but something) was terribly wrong
and I admit that I was only waiting for the right time (night time)
the right moment for you to look away (though you never did)
I pretended for a while
so I could walk where I don't belong...

I remember every word you said
come back in time come back
and I remember I'd soon be dead
pitiful so pitiful

but I know as they hammered those nails
into your beautiful hands
your eyes they tried to search for mine
but I look away
now your eyes are the only thing that can save me
I'm still afraid of them piercing
you're breaking into my prison
(just pretended for a while)
my soul is dying, I won't look away..."

Comatose is an amazing (and in my eyes prophetic) song about our insatiable need for God to awaken us, his body.

"I hate feeling like this,
so tired of trying to fight this.
I'm asleep and all I dream of,
is waking to You...
Comatose, I will never wake up
without an overdose of You..."

Have you ever had that weird dream where you are asleep (in your dream) and you are trying desperately to wake up, and it's so important that you do, yet, you just can't wake up. You're so sleepy, so tired, and yet you're dreaming of waking up. I think the American church is like this. I think we want to be awakened in God, we want to be sober in the things that God is doing on the earth today and we know we need help. Our prayers and songs are about waking up, about being awakened, about revival...and yet we sleep. True revival (awakening in our souls to the lover of our souls) is not about meetings and feelings (as much as I love them) or even miracles and healings, for the anti-christ will have all of that and more, but true revival is about true repentance, of our own sins and the sins of our nation. In James McDonald's book Downpour he teaches us the practice of repentance so that we can experience what we truly long for, unhindered communion with God.
So, we are pitiful, asleep and longing for the Cure for both.

A place of His own

Preparing my second prayer room reminds me of Aslan's words in the recent Prince Caspian movie, "Things never happen the same way twice". My urgency to make this space available for abiding is less intense than the first time. I am moving slower and with more forethought. I am not motivated in the same way. My energy comes from a desire to move on and to heal, to be busy working rather than busy thinking. Finishing quickly is not the goal but finishing right. The first time I was driven by the excitement of something new and a vision. I rushed ahead madly, bubbling and rippling over every stony obstacle. Now I am a calm deep lake. The room itself hold no new adventures for me that abiding anywhere else on earth cannot provide. His place is among the craggy places in my heart not in a basement or attic room. And yet this place for Him will allow for the time to explore the uncharted depths of our relationship, the places we both long to go together. And that is in fact why I am making this room a place of His own. It could be a lot of things but it was never a question really of what it would become. My vision and effort isn't exactly the same as the first time which makes it a bit like having your second child. The experience is not entirely new, nor the outcome but the journey afterward will be.